1st year in medschool my first try at it…my attention span of pure concentration lasted until the first long exam…i was so distracted with everything else that even if i did study alot i was always not in the the best condition…plus all the drama did not help at all…i studied hard, i did not study smart..that only left me tired..really tired..the kind of tired that i can still feel up to now..

1st year second try in a different school…was really easy…i had less subjects(honestly i was relearning almost everything because i basically did not understand alot at my previous school…even so it was still easier) i was passing i even if i did not give it my all…so i thought that..that level of effort was enough…well it was enough for 1st year…

2nd year… I’ve only been in it for a sem…its really hard…it was like i am back in my previous school…the level of effort i gave in my first year is not nearly enough…i was too lax(i kept on watching tv, i went out alot, and i easily get distracted from studying) even failed a subject because my it…i always crammed which really does not work…my grades this 1st semester really, extremely leaves a lot to be desired…i hope i can still pass…even with my problematic grades  

I know how to be better at this…I know how can make this right…i just hope, and i am saying this for the last time, the damage is not too irreparable…i hope that would still pass everything else if i did my best… 

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this will haunt me the whole 2nd semester…

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i guess my wish did not come true…

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this coming semester….one mistake and…

ironic and i will say this for the last time…never studied for fa med..passed…poured my soul into ob…fail… :3

thervnpictureshow:

today the results for ob came out…and i was not in the list…i was ready for this…but it cant stop the wave of sadness from swallowing me whole…at first i sort of neglected ob in the beginning of sem…but in the middle i really focused on it…i guess the damage was to much.. irreparable… i just hope that the damage this time is not even more irreparable…best case scenario(im not really betting on this..but there have been account of this possibility) is that i get an outright pass after the 2nd sem students curve; the next ok scenario is that i go to removals and hopefully pass it…and the worst case scenario and my worst nightmare is outright fail…Lord help me … 

and its creeping me out and i am probably creeping you out….hate myself…

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so tired of school..even in recreation i am lazy…

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so many things i want to do…so little attention span to even start…o.O

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